In 1986 after being misdiagnosed with a life threatening brain tumor I endured 7 days thinking life for me would be cut short.  The correct diagnosis of multiple sclerosis was somewhat of a relief.  My name is Jill, wife, mom, mimi, talk-a-holic known for rambling on & on & I have multiple sclerosis (ms) a disease that has left me with a lifetime of staggering surprises & amazing life lessons.  I also worked outside of our home for 27 years until 2006 most recently 18 years at a large health insurance company as an auditor. The number of life lessons ms taught me over the years is mind boggling.  The first & most surprising was the overwhelming relief, yes relief, that this happened to me & not one of my loved ones which to my surprise left me asking ‘why not me’ rather than ‘why me’. The second was the realization humor is truly the best medicine and a necessity for coping.  One of my favorite sayings “if you don’t laugh you will cry”.

I  have an awesome family & I’m sure I would not have the same positive outlook on life if it were not for my family.  I will be talking a lot about my family so let me introduce you.  My husband Steve is phenomenal, we married in 1977 & have 2 amazing sons Jason & Michal.  Jason married an awesome gal Kama & they blessed us with 2 beautiful granddaughters Abrielle & Haidyn & we have a grandkitty KC.  Michal also married an awesome gal Danielle & they have 3 furry babies, our grandpup Beau, Libby & Wyatt.   Our furry babies are Stitch & Ellie boxer brother & sister.

Diagnosed in 1986 ms has surprised me with many obstacles some temporary, some permanent, some ongoing.  One of those obstacles, when doctors told me I would have to give myself daily injections for the rest of my life.  No big deal except I have, or rather had, a severe phobia of needles.  Another is blindness, an ongoing battle I fight daily with chemotherapy drugs. Prior to chemotherapy I endured many years of steroid injections directly into my eyes every few months. On more than one occasion blindness has left me homebound with my face plastered up against the computer screen desperately trying to find something, anything to relieve the loneliness. Sadly sometimes we can be surrounded by very loving & attentive family & friends yet be all alone in our mind.

For many years I told no one about the ms not even close friends or co-workers first because I am not sick I just happen to have a disease & second I don’t look sick so I feared nobody would believe me.  I always had to be ready with an excuse because ms is very difficult to hide & it can rear its ugly head any time.  I litterally can go to bed feeling awesome and wake up in the morning with an issue (exacerbation).  From waking up completely paralyzed on one side to being competely blind in one eye.  Or something silly like slurred speech where I sound drunk to something minor like dragging a leg that is asleep.   Most issues last 2 to 3 months & most go away on their own.

I have decided to share my ms journey with the hope it might help at least one person.  Blogging is all new to me but I am hopeful over time I will get my blog out there (1) so folks with muliple sclerosis have a forum where they can tell their stories or just vent about their disease, even if its 2:00 in the morning and  (2) for healthy folks or folks that have a loved one with a chronic illness to see into the life of someone living with multiple sclerosis or a chronic disease.

Welcome to my blog!


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